2. Saying, "I know you are incredibly busy and your time is valuable so I hate to bother you but would you mind looking at my novel and seeing if it is something you might be interested in." You literally just used five seconds that the agent can never...ever...get back.
3.I don't care if your brother's uncle's cousin's barber LOVES your novel. And guess what? Neither does the agent! Unless the cousin's barber is John Green, in which case, start the entire query with "John Green LOVES my novel, he told me himself." But last time I checked, John Green doesn't do hair.
4. Never say "fictional novel." I've read it enough times to know that even the kindest agent will want to throat punch you if you write those words. Just say novel, because the other is redundant.
5. Sending attachments. Unless the submission page specifically says to, agents will not open anything with an attachment. So, sorry ladies, but do not attach that gorgeous selfie you took in the bathroom mirror.
6. This should be obvious but (smh) it's not. Triple check for typos, grammar and punctuation. If you can't produce a perfect one page letter then maybe you should take up painting. Or underwater basket weaving. Or singing in the shower. But definitely not writing. And make the extra effort to spell their name correctly.
7. Comparing your book to a bestseller, especially the trifecta: Harry Potter, Twilight, or Hunger Games. You just end up looking like an ass. Honorable mentions would be anything with Stephen King, Dan Brown, Danielle Steele. You get what I'm saying, right?
8. Being arrogant in your pitch...AKA, don't count your chickens before they hatch. Listen, don't waste valuable space telling them that your book is going to be a bestseller. Save that room for the synopsis, which is the real meat of the query anyway.
9. Listing personal information if it doesn't relate to your book or publishing. Have you been published in Mystery Magazine? By all means, let them know! Did you have perfect attendance all four years of high school? No one cares. (Except maybe your mom).
10. Using dumb email addresses. This is supposed to be professional. Don't have them reply to pinkfuzzyslippers@aol.com.
11. Forgetting to give the basic information: Your name, title, genre, word count. It's kinda like the "don't use this in the bathtub" warning for hair dryers. Somebody before you has done it, so learn from their mistakes.
12. Keep your query to one page. Simple. Easy.
13. Neglecting to review their submissions page before you hit send. Agents all want to see different things when you submit the initial query so again, do your homework. Give them what they want the first time.
14. Pitching more than one book at a time. Wait until you sign with an agent to wow them with your substantial list of WIPs.
15. Emailing a group of agents at once. Send them an individual email. Better yet, do some research and in one sentence tell them why you've chosen them. And see #1.
16. Do not use stationary or creative fonts. Again, it looks unprofessional, and is actually harder to read.
17. Leading with questions. Don't give them a reason to say "no" before you've even begun. Opening with, "Have you ever wanted to fly?" would get an immediate "NO" from me, so already I can't relate to your book.
19. Being vague in the book's description. "John is on the journey of his life" says absolutely nothing about the book. "While visiting Italy, John discovers his love of spaghetti and opens up a pasta factory," is much better.
20. And NEVER EVER query unless your novel is 100% complete. And edited. And revised. And re-edited. And re-revised. (This is not the case for non-fiction).
Good luck out there!
No comments:
Post a Comment